Friday, August 12, 2005

Top Ten Signs You're Descended from Royalty

10. You'll only eat at Burger King or Dairy Queen.

9. You turn on The History Channel to identify people in your family album.

8. You're unusually protective of your "crown jewels."

7. You jumped onto the field and knighted Curt Schilling after last year's World Series.

6. All of your family reunions are held at Windsor Castle.

5. When you were a kid, your father was always off somewhere posing for postage stamps.

4. Your great-great-great-great-great-grandfather's nickname was "Alfred the Insipid."

3. You ordered your two ex-wives beheaded.

2. You celebrate the Fourth of July by burning Ben Franklin in effigy.

1. Your parents are first-cousins.

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