The great success of the Find-o-matic Person Locator has encouraged me to attempt a new project: The Name Origin Calculometer. Through a set of highly sophisticated, calibrated algorithms (patents pending), this script will determine the meaning or significance of thousands of surnames.
Please understand that the Calculometer is still in its testing phase, and that its accuracy depends largely on the credulity of its users.
I think that is a great invention. We could know each other's family history through the instrument.
Finally, someone who appreciates my skill as an inventor of useless novelties. I hope the Nobel committee is paying attention.