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Friday, December 30, 2005

The 2005 Genealogue Awards

The time has come to honor the best Genealogue news articles of 2005 (and by "best" I mean the best I could round up in the last fifteen minutes).

The award for Worst Family Reunion Ever goes to . . . "Worst Family Reunion Ever." The runner-up is "The Next Best Thing," which describes a planned reunion of people whose ancestors had lunch with Abraham Lincoln.

The coveted Double Entendre of the Year Award goes to "Archivist Finds Faithful Cock in Cornwall," with a second-place finish by "The French Keep Track of Their Seamen."

In the category of Worst Location for a Graveyard, the winner is "Cemetery in Middle of Road Perhaps a Bad Idea." Runner-up: Six Feet Under the Sunoco Station.

Winner of the I Hope This Doesn't Catch On Award is "A New Way to Publish Your Family History."

There was a tie in the voting for Dumbest Desecrater: "Criminal Geniuses" and "Grave Desecration Taken to New Low." Runner-up: "Just Say No."

There was one clear winner for Worst Last Request: "Better Late than Never . . . I Guess."

The Easiest Pun Award goes to "New Orleans Long Plagued by Luters."

The Weirdest Cause of Death was difficult to decide, but the award goes to "The Dangers of Cold Water." Other contenders: "Is Death Contagious?" and "Cause of Death: Acute Henpecking."

The award for Most Needlessly Topical Title goes to "Bodies Dug Up in Front of White House; Karl Rove Not a Suspect."

The NSFW Award goes to "Rasputin Remembered and Dis-membered."

There were two rivals for the Strangest Japanese Census Article Award. The winner was "Census Taker Takes Leave of His Census," which barely nudged out the follow-up story, "The Catchiest Census Jingle Ever."

Best posts in the Cosmogenealogy category are "Astro-Genealogical Interference" and "Space Cadet Approves of Astrodome's Use as Shelter."

The winner of the Dysfunctional Family Award is "Family Honors Relative Out of Spite." In second place is "Man Prefers Deportation to Marriage." A third nominee — "Nothing Says 'I Love You' Like a Homemade Casket" — was disqualified when the family depicted proved to be odd, but not dysfunctional.

Finally, in the category of Cemetery Mishaps the winner is "Belgian Woman Starts Out Drunk, Ends Up Stoned." Running a close second is "Next Time, Use the Gate," in which a woman discovers what those spiky things on cemetery fences are for.

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