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Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Top Ten Worst Ways to Celebrate Black History Month

10. Invite Maya Angelou over for karaoke.

9. Watch reruns of Good Times and take a drink every time J.J. says "Dyn-o-mite!"

8. Translate the "I Have a Dream" speech into Klingonese.

7. Rent all the movies starring that famous African-American actress Charlize Theron.

6. Rename the path from your couch to the refrigerator "Martin Luther King Boulevard."

5. Erect a monument to Bryant Gumbel's ego.

4. Search out your closest childhood friend, and then spit in her water like Kizzy did in Roots.

3. Follow George Washington Carver's lead and build an iPod using nothing but peanuts.

2. Make a donation to NASCAR—you know, the civil rights organization.

1. Have your kids play "Underground Railroad" in the crawlspace.

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