Friday, February 17, 2006

Six Degrees of Celebrity Separation

Matching your mug to that of a celebrity is one thing, but what if you could take a DNA test and learn how closely you're related to the Windsors, or the Osbournes?

Chris Eglington of London applied recently for a U.S. patent for his "Method of determining a genetic relationship to at least one individual in a group of famous individuals using a combination of genetic markers." Available groups might include "US Presidents, Founding Fathers, Royal Families from various nations, Baseball Players, Football Players, Rock Stars, Actors and Actresses, Hockey Players, Authors, Artists and Scientists." Submit your cheek-swab, and Eglington will tell you which Desperate Housewives actress is most likely to return your phone call.

The method could be used for four-legged wannabes as well, letting you check your mongrel's DNA against that of a group of privileged pooches.

For example, groups of famous animals include, without limit, Triple Crown winners, champion racehorses, kennel club champions, Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show winners, champion cats, Hollywood cats, Hollywood dogs and Hollywood horses.
Best of all, "the customer can send in any biological sample that contains DNA, including, without limitation, bone, teeth, mouth wash and blood." Eglington says that DNA from famous people may be collected "using any method known in the art."

I'll start checking eBay for Queen Elizabeth's teeth.

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