My newest old friend Trish passes along some disturbing news from the world of science:
A group of scientists from the UK and Canada have disclosed that they have indisputably proved that Bob is not, in fact, your uncle, leading to widespread existential crises in the Commonwealth.
"We truly wish it were otherwise," said Niles Anderson, of the University of Toronto. "Because now the world seems a lot more difficult as a result. Bob made everything much easier, in principle at least." [Link]