Thursday, April 20, 2006

Top Ten Spring Genealogy Projects

10. Mow the family burial ground, being careful to avoid any protruding elbows and knees.

9. Plant a tree in honor of a relative who served in the military. Cut down a tree for each of his reported kills.

8. Throw away any family heirloom that came in a McDonald's Happy Meal.

7. Hang a May basket on the door of the family crypt, and then run and hide.

6. Reach way back in your genealogy files and remove anyone who doesn't smell fresh.

5. Pick up trash along a roadside, and then store it in archival-quality acid-free boxes to be cataloged later.

4. Check the drains in the guest bathroom for DNA samples.

3. Ensure Grandpa's presence at Thanksgiving dinner by scattering his ashes in the vegetable garden.

2. Continue scrubbing the bloodstains from last year's family reunion.

1. Hang your grandmother on the clothesline and beat her with a stick until she comes clean.

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