Credit goes to Dave at OakvilleBlackWalnut for spotting this one.
A New York cemetery worker named James Scott grew violent after getting caught "making water" on a grave.
The full details of the alleged incident were unclear, but according to the New York Post, Itomor Khaimov, 28, was walking his dog in the cemetery when he spotted the 80-year-old relieving himself in a vase on his grandmother's grave.Scott then made matters worse by hitting Khaimov on the head with his rake, giving him a mild concussion.
When Khaimov asked the man what he was doing, he replied: "I'm urinating. ... I'm an old man, I can't hold it," the report said. [Link]
This is why the conscientious genealogist always wears an adult-size diaper when visiting large cemeteries.