Friday, March 31, 2006

Honest Mistake or Cruel Joke?

In what I suspect is an ingenious April Fools' Day prank, the Columbia Star is asking South Carolinians of Scottish descent to show up tomorrow at the State Museum in their finest kilts.

On April 1, 2006, Tartanfest is an opportunity to show the younger generation, and all others interested in the contributions Scottish Americans have made to the nation's history and culture, especially in SC. [Link]
The official Tartan Fest website spoils the joke by giving the correct date for the event: April 8.

Recognition Petition Comes to Fruition

The Pilgrims had no trouble recognizing their Indian neighbors, but the U.S. government drew a blank until this afternoon. The Mashpee Wampanoag tribe has received preliminary approval of their request for federal recognition, with final approval expected within a year.

"History in one respect now comes full circle," tribal chief Vernon Lopez said in a statement. "Our ancestors, as a sovereign nation, met the Mayflower, and that meeting led to the birth of this great nation. Today, our government has reaffirmed this status and the faith of that first meeting." [Link]
And yes, the Wampanoag have expressed interest in starting up a gambling operation. Perhaps a floating casino aboard the Mayflower II?

2010 Census To More Efficiently Undercount Population

When your descendants look you up in the 2010 census, they won't have to decipher the writing of some census taker in need of sleep and opposable thumbs. A Florida company has won a contract to automate the process.

In the past, census employees -- many of them temporary workers hired specifically for information-gathering -- went door-to-door with paper address lists, maps and questionnaires.
With the new systems, census-takers will use small computers that are wirelessly linked to nearby vehicles that will upload the data to central offices, updating statistics in near-real-time, and getting that data integrated from other sources. Previously, the process could take hours or days. [Link]
Lockheed Martin was tasked last fall with creating a system to process census data from households via the Internet, telephone, and snail mail. The Census Bureau estimates that, with all this new technology, the chance of them spelling your name wrong will drop to 78%.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

And Please, No Tippling While Toppling

If you're like me, you live in constant fear that a headstone will tip over and crush you like a bug. That's why I always carry a ToppleTester from Pearson Panke Ltd.

ToppleTester is the most widely used topple-testing device in Europe, and has saved countless Britons from the embarrassment of being squished. Simply hold the ToppleTester against an unstable monument, and wait for it to topple. The load read-out will tell you how much force was necessary to destroy the only evidence of your ancestor's existence.

Warning: The ToppleTester is not intended for use on cows or other large farm animals.

Study: Genealogists Live Longer

A Genealogue Exclusive [What's That?]
A study released today by the esteemed Holcombe Institute reveals that people who engage in genealogical research for at least 30 minutes a day live up to ten years longer than people who perform no daily research, but instead smoke three or more packs of cigarettes.

The outcome came as a shock to lead researcher Dr. Nigel Wyckoff.

"The correlation is truly remarkable," he said at a hastily arranged news conference. "There can be no clearer proof of the positive health effects of genealogy than this."

"Don't believe it," responded consumer activist Carol Paulsen. "Scientists will prove whatever they're paid to prove. It wouldn't surprise me if Wyckoff and his crew were deep in the pocket of some genealogy conglomerate."

When confronted with this accusation, Dr. Wyckoff conceded that his study was financed by a grant from genealogy giant Ancestry.com. Still, he insisted that his conclusions are sound.

"I stand by my results, and encourage anyone with doubts to inspect my data. It's available at Ancestry.com for just $14.95 per month. Sign up today for a free 14-day trial!"

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Can You Hear Me Now?

More people than ever are asking to spend eternity with their cell phones. The trend started in South Africa among people who feared being buried alive while under the spell of a witch, but has now spread to Ireland, Australia, Ghana, and the United States.

Mobile phone batteries cause nasty explosions when incinerated, so crematorium clients require special arrangements.

Some funeral parlours will now arrange for the phone [to be] put into the box with the ashes following the cremation.

And one service in South Africa will put a number of batteries in the coffin just in case the dead person wakes up much later and finds their own battery has run out. [Link]
I'd hate to be on the other end of that phone call.

Going to Karolina in My Mind

The folks who frequent GenForum are a bit skeptical about this recent plea for help:

Dear fellow genealogists,
I am a grad student at the Jagiellonian University (Cracow, Poland) conducting research on the interest in doing genealogy.
Please contact me if you would be willing to do a questionnaire for me. I need to compile a list of email addresses to send my questionnaire to.
I will be most gratefull should you decide to become a part of my Master's dissertation.
In return I will gladly be your tour guide if you ever decide to visit the beautiful city of Cracow.
Please consider this. I am counting on genealogy.com to help me.
Sincerely,
Karolina karolinawalczyk@poczta.onet.pl
A cynical few have suggested that Karolina is in fact a spammer (gasp!) seeking valid email addresses for nefarious purposes. I prefer to believe that Karolina misplaced her campus email address, and unwittingly signed up for an account on a domain implicated in previous Internet scams. I also choose to believe that she is 23, single, and eager to meet a Western genealogist with $230 in his bank account and no visible scars.

Disorder at the Border

In the current immigration debate, one argument has arisen that demands response. Daneen G. Peterson has voiced it in a particularly bold-faced way, insisting that we are not a nation of immigrants:

Most Americans today are NATIVE BORN and therefore NOT IMMIGRANTS! What is left unsaid in the above phrase is the significant fact that our American ancestors came to this country as LEGAL immigrants, which is the antithesis of the current invasion of ILLEGAL ALIENS supported by the open borders, pro-illegal alien crowd! [Link]
What is left unsaid in the above screed is that our borders were far more open in our early history than today. (Does it even make sense to distinguish "legal" from "illegal" immigrants where there are no immigration laws?) And that immigrants sought ways to avoid U.S. border inspectors even in the 19th century.

Take this passage from Marian L. Smith's 2000 article on immigration by way of Canada:
In earlier years immigrants landing in Canada were largely from Britain, Scandinavia, northern Europe, or Russia. In the 1880s, as the United States began to impose more stringent immigration rules at its own ports of entry, even more immigrants from the same regions and elsewhere chose to travel via Canada to avoid the trouble and delay of U.S. immigrant inspection. By the 1890s, steamship companies began to advertise passage through Canada as a more desirable route for immigrants who wished to avoid U.S. inspectors. While much of this traffic remained Irish, Swedish, Norwegian, or Russian, the business of carrying Italians, Greeks, and others from Mediterranean ports to Canada grew. [Link]
The Mexican border was no less porous than the Canadian, and the people aiming to start a new life in America no less determined than our modern-day border-crossers.

We can all agree that illegal immigration is a problem in urgent need of a solution, but let's not mistake our ancestors for saints. Or dismiss them as criminals.

What If I Hate My Grandma?

One South Carolina conservator asks us to treat our family records as if they were old women suffering from osteoporosis and stinking of Bengay.

Sharon Bennett, archivist with The Charleston Museum, says to think of old family photos and documents as if they were your grandma.

"Would you keep her in the attic or basement?" Bennett asked. "If it's comfortable for us, it will be comfortable for your collection." [Link]
Would Grandma really be comfortable in an acid-free archival-safe top-loading sheet protector?

Swiss Roots Eases the Search for Good Cheese

Swiss Roots has come online with its promised genealogy resources. The interlinking of surname lists with immigration and other records could prove useful. The section called Famous Swiss in the U.S. finally answers the question, "What do Cyndi Lauper and flying ace Eddie Rickenbacker have in common?"

See also the interview with Pittsburgh Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger.

Swiss Roots: We're trying to arrange a trip for you to go to Switzerland and show you the sights, including a visit to your great-grandfather's town in the Bernese Emmental.

Ben Roethlisberger: That'd be awesome! If that town is known for their cheese, then I should take my dad: he loves cheeses, and he actually used to work in a cheese factory, so I know he'd love that.

A Dozen Graves to Pave

The Rev. Michael Wishart of St. Mary the Virgin Church in Bishops Lydeard, England, has a problem: His church's ex-parishioners are taking up too much space in the yard.

"I'm suggesting we take part of the churchyard to create a car park.

"However, this will mean we'll have to move about 12 headstones to create enough space."

Mr Wishart said most of the headstones date back to the 1800s, but the church was doing all it can to contact relatives to gain their permission to move them. [Link]

The Truth is So Boring

10News in San Diego reported yesterday on culprits stealing the identities of the recently departed.

Thieves cull private information from newspaper obituaries and from the Internet -- mainly genealogy sites that post the Social Security numbers of the deceased taken directly from the Social Security Administration's "master death index." [Link]
But don't worry—we won't be losing the SSDI anytime soon. In truth, the role of the index is exactly the opposite of what was reported: it prevents identity theft. Here's how an SSA commissioner explained it to Congress in 2002:
SSA receives reports of deaths from a number of sources, and from computer matches with death data from Federal and State agencies. This information is critical to the administration of our program and is made available to facilitate the prevention of identify theft of the SSN's of deceased persons. Many of the private sector companies purchasing this information are credit card companies and financial institutions. [Link]

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

My Non-Certified Opinion

That kindly clerk who helped you document great-uncle Louie's fourth divorce may well be a member of NAPHSIS—an organization bent on making vital records less accessible to genealogists.

Genealogists have asked that access policies distinguish certified from non-certified birth records, but the Executive Director of NAPHSIS dismisses this suggestion.

The logic behind this recommendation is that a certified copy of a birth record is needed to obtain an identification document, and genealogists do not need certified copies of vital records. The problem with this approach is that the information from a non-certified copy can be used to obtain a certified copy. [Link via EOGN]
Translation: NAPHSIS members will hand out certified copies of birth records to anyone with $15 and a pulse.

The Director is arguing that a certified copy of a birth record is not needed to obtain a certified copy of a birth record. Obviously not, but some sort of documentation should be required that can't be produced in ten minutes at Kinko's with information available from fifty different sources—none of whom pay dues to NAPHSIS. Abolishing non-certified copies is like closing the barn door after the horse has slipped out the back with your wallet and ATM code.

But then, what do I know—I'm just a genealogist.

GenHaven Loses One of Its Own

Genealogy needn't be a solitary pursuit—even if pursued over a broadband connection.

Members of the GenHaven genealogy group noticed last weekend that one of the regulars—Jortis Webb of St. Petersburg, Fla.—hadn't posted for a while. Two of them grew so concerned that they contacted the St. Petersburg Police Department and asked that someone check on him.

Shortly after midnight Sunday, a paramedic knocked on Webb's door. Getting no response, he peered into a window and saw a man slumped over at his desk. Jortis Webb had died online.

"There was no sign of foul play," St. Petersburg police public information officer George Kajtsa told me via phone. "His online friends said Mr. Webb was a diabetic, and they were worried since they hadn't heard from him. Mr. Webb's neighbors had not seen him in two days." [Link]
The GenHaven group has erected a virtual memorial to honor Webb's contributions and friendship.

If I Were a Rich Man (and Jewish) I Might Go

The 26th IAJGS International Conference on Jewish Genealogy will be held Aug. 13-18 in New York City. Early registration runs through May 15. If you have no Jewish ancestry, there may still be time to convert.

The list of speakers is like a Who's Who of people whose names you might almost recognize, but probably won't. Archivist of the United States Dr. Allen Weinstein will give the keynote address, unless surreptitiously poisoned by his second-in-command. Actor Bill Hayes ("Doug Williams" on Days of Our Lives since 1970) will be the featured speaker on a panel for teaching genealogy to children. Hayes has a PhD in family history, but his greatest accomplishment was recording "The Ballad of Davy Crockett" in 1954—a song I spent the better part of my childhood trying to purge from my brain.

Perhaps the most intriguing of the scheduled lectures is "Researching Jewish Criminals, Especially in New York." Unfortunately, this is not one of the seven workshops to be given by Steve Morse, who would have called it "Searching for Jewish Felons in One Step."

Monday, March 27, 2006

Ancestry Dot Blog

Ancestry Weekly Journal is the latest, bloggy incarnation of Ancestry Daily News and Weekly Digest. Try to drop a comment on one of the articles and you'll be taken to Juliana Smith's new blog, 24-7 Family History Circle, where she promises lots of pictures of family detritus.

Why do other people's heirlooms look so much better than mine?

What a Way to Go

The following causes of death turned up when Virginia's 1912-1939 vital records were transferred to "high-tech computer disks" in the early 1990s:

  • Sat on an upturned milk pail and got a splinter which became infected.
  • Found dead on a whorehouse floor.
  • "[S]hot to death by Petter [sic] Underwood in a drunken row over a still tub and a mean woman."
  • Fell from a tree, landed astride a lower limb, and developed gangrenous testicles.
  • Given "too many cold meals" by his wife.
[Source: The Virginian-Pilot, Jan 10, 1993]

Leave Your Balls At Home

Two documents important to the history of Pittsfield, Massachusetts, turned up in 2004—only one of which will cause descendants of Abner Doubleday to choke on their Cracker Jack.

One was a muster roll of 18 men who marched on the Lexington alarm of April 19, 1775, now on display at the Berkshire Historical Society. It's the sort of thing that would only interest those creeps you see lurking around the genealogy stacks at the library.

The other was a town bylaw from 1791 containing the earliest known reference to "baseball" in North America:

For the Preservation of the Windows in the New Meeting House . . . no Person or Inhabitant of said town, shall be permitted to play at any game called Wicket, Cricket, Baseball, Football, Cat, Fives, or any other game or games with balls, within the Distance of Eighty Yards from said Meeting House. [Link]
As eighty yards wouldn't even reach to the warning track in Fenway Park, this bylaw must have been passed during the dead-ball era. Speaking of which, visit The Dead Ball Era for info on ballplayers tagged out for the last time.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

The World's Oldest Liar

The Gerontology Research Group is keeping an eye on the world's supercentenarians—those people who've neglected to check out by age 110. The group's website has a number of tables with data on current and past supercentenarians, but my favorite is the one listing False And Exaggerated Claims of Longevity.

Charlie Smith claimed to have been born in Liberia on July 4, 1842, and died Oct. 5, 1979, in Florida at the whopping age of 137. The July fourth birth date was chosen by Smith himself—"Out of loyalty to his country" reported Time in 1967. He may have chosen the year of his birth as well, if a Boston Globe article on Guinness World Records is correct:

A record search in Arcadia, Fla., showed a marriage record in which Smith claimed he was 35 years old in 1910. He apparently exaggerated his age by at least 33 years. ["Eat a Tree, but Never a Bicycle," Feb. 11, 1982]
His exaggeration was perhaps even worse. A partial marriage index for DeSoto County (county seat Arcadia) shows a marriage for Charlie Smith and Bell Van on Jan. 8, 1910. The couple was living in Lily, DeSoto County, in April of that year, at which time Charlie's age was 32. His place of birth was given as "Georgia."

If a liar, Smith was a very talented one. He said in interviews that he came to America in 1854, and lived in slavery until freed by Lincoln. No one seems to have doubted him. On its Emancipation Proclamation page, the National Archives links to an audio clip of Smith saying he was "21 years old when freedom was declared." A 1975 conversation with historian Elmer Sparks may be read or listened to at American Memory. At one point in the interview, Smith pushes the year of his birth back even further.
I'm a hundred and forty-four, last, last year, fourth of July. A hundred and forty-four years old now. My birthday, I gets a birthday card, I'm a hundred and forty-four last fourth day of July, last year. I'm a hundred and forty-four.
It's hard to consider Smith truthful when you read the other stories he told of his life. A few years ago, a screenplay titled 'Long Came Charlie was optioned by Dustin Hoffman's production company.
Described as "a black Little Big Man," 'Long Came Charlie is the incredible true tale of the world's oldest man, crusty codger Charlie Smith, who on his 134th birthday shares his poignant and often hilarious life story, which includes a disasterous [sic] cattle drive on the Chisholm Trail, a brush with death at Gettysburg, an encounter with Abraham Lincoln, Charlie's travels with the Jesse James Gang, his gunfight with Jesse himself and how he apprehended the man who shot President Garfield. [Link]
According to the Sparks interview, Smith's partner in apprehending Garfield's shooter was none other than Billy the Kid.

Throw in Mark Twain and Queen Victoria and that'll make a great movie.

A Doctor With Guts

Louisiana anesthesiologist William Price enjoys dressing up like a Civil War surgeon and giving lectures on period medical and surgical practices. But not all of his visual aids go over well with audiences.

“I used to do a demonstration that caused people to faint,” Price said. “I had fake gut wounds where I’d say, ‘He’s going to die, move him off the table.’ I don’t do that anymore.” [Link]

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Top Ten Signs Your Ancestor Was Feeble-Minded

10. Filled out his Social Security application with a blue crayon.

9. Named his children after the hired hands they most resembled.

8. When asked by the census taker for his "age at last birthday," responded, "You mean I don't get another one?"

7. Was kicked out of the Confederate Army for hugging his superior officers.

6. Sold his farm to a neighbor for "magic beans and other valuable considerations."

5. Asked to be buried in the same suit his father was buried in.

4. Was turned back at Ellis Island for failing the doorknob test.

3. Accused the minister's wife of witchcraft, having witnessed her tying her own shoelaces.

2. Attended the wrong family reunion for ten consecutive years.

1. Only member of the Donner Party to attempt a round trip.

More Than 'Just a Spoonful of Sugar' May Be Required

A "hand-written book of medicinal recipes" was passed down to Marc Simmons from an ancestor who doctored folks in Mississippi just prior to the Civil War. His remedy for malarial "fever and ague" makes bleeding by leeches seem like a treat:

Take a lump of cow excrement as large as a hen egg from a cowpie dropped in the month of May. Wrap it in a rag and put it in a pitcher with a little sage, horsemint and other sweating herbs. This will produce a half-gallon of strong tea, but not so strong as to make the patient sick. Drink plenty to cause sweating. [Link]
I'd be sweating as soon as I saw the doctor pull a cowpie out of his bag.

Friday, March 24, 2006

Thanks for the Memories ... That'll Be $40

A new Internet venture called MemoryArk is looking for 50 people to "Write About Funny, Important, Pivotal Life Moments."

MemoryArk is a company that captures your life story and the stories of those close to you. You can create posts, upload images, use our question bank, invite others and share stories. It's a great way to stay connected with family and friends. It's also a great way to document your life for future generations.

Currently, we are in the Alpha testing phase and will be launching our Beta product in May. We would like to find a group that will make a two month commitment, create 10 or more life stories and invite 5 friends and family to participate. Our goal is to have you capture your life story and share with friends and family.

In return for making this commitment, we will offer you a lifetime premium membership ($40 per year value). Our product is very exciting and will be treasured for many years to come. [Link]
Mathew Ingram took MemoryArk for a test run a few weeks ago, and came away utterly ambivalent.
[W]ill people pay the kind of money that MemoryArk wants them to? I’m not sure. The idea of an online repository for memories, a way of keeping track and sharing those family stories with others, definitely appeals to me (what can I say - I’m getting old), but I don’t know if it’s a business you can charge up front for. [Link]

Enumerating the Risks

It ain't easy being a Nigerian census taker. Once you've crossed the desert on a snorting camel and dodged the rebels seeking to attack you with acid and machetes, you still might not get the information you're after.

It's considered bad luck to ask a Yoruba how many children the family has. Asking a herdsman about his cows or camels likely will get you shown the door. And what is a male census worker to do when Muslim women are home alone? [Link]

AP Gets a Do-Over

In response to my withering criticism, the Associated Press has issued a retraction:

In a March 21 story about the Indianapolis Colts' signing of kicker Adam Vinatieri, The Associated Press erroneously reported that he is a descendant of Gen. George Custer. Vinatieri is a descendant of Custer's bandmaster. The corrected version of the story appears below. [Link]

Man Steals Ancestor's Identity

A Genealogue Exclusive [What's That?]
Daniel Haines was arrested Wednesday at his home in Hallowell, Maine, and charged with stealing the identity of his ancestor, Benjamin F. Haines. The elder Haines was a veteran of the Civil War, and died in 1881 from acute chappedness of the lips.

District Attorney Janet Coulombe described the case as "the worst I've ever seen," and called for new restrictions on access to vital records in the state.

"This man was able to walk into the State Archives, look at some microfilm, and find out Benjamin Haines' date of birth, his marriage date—even his mother's maiden name! We have to do a better job of protecting the identities of our citizens."

According to Coulombe, Daniel Haines made no attempt to hide his crime, and even appeared at his son's elementary school dressed in the uniform of his victim. Haines asked to be called "Benjamin" during the school visit, never once revealing to the children his true identity as "Caleb's dad."

"We also have evidence of paramilitary activity," says Coulombe. "Haines and several dozen co-conspirators routinely disguised themselves and carried out weapons-training exercises at what they called 'encampments.' God only knows what they were planning."

Police have rounded up most of the identity-theft ring, but one member is still at large. The DA is asking for the public's help in apprehending the leader—a man they call "the Colonel."

"Please do not approach him, as he is known to carry a sidearm and sword," she warns. "Anyone spotting 'Joshua Chamberlain' should call the Maine State Police immediately. Don't be a hero."

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Errant Spelling Finally Fixed

Pvt. Dennis Buckley came all the way from Lindsay, Ontario, to fight with the Union Army. You'd think that getting shot in the head after capturing a Confederate flag and winning a posthumous Medal of Honor would guarantee him a fitting monument. But a misspelling ("Burkley") on his headstone in Marietta National Cemetery kept his heroism from being noticed for 142 years.

Through the efforts of John DuBois of Caledonia, N.Y., the Department of Veterans Affairs has finally ordered Buckley a new stone, with his name spelled correctly, and an inscription noting his Medal of Honor.

But the government had to slip in some evidence to assure us of its continued incompetence.

[A] press release from the Department of Veterans Affairs announcing the headstone change incorrectly spelled Lindsay, Ontario, and had the wrong style for DuBois' name, using a lowercase 'b'. [Link]

The Massachusetts eBay Charter

The Massachusetts Bay Charter of 1629 is the most important document in Massachusetts history—the document upon which a Commonwealth was founded, and without which America would be a profoundly different place.

It's also worth a lot of cash.

The Salem Athenæum is considering auctioning off its copy of the charter—the only original copy this side of the Atlantic—to pay its operating expenses (read gambling debts).

The charter, essentially the founding document of Massachusetts, is the "most significant document" in state history, but it has broader importance, said Dane Morrison, a professor of early American history at Salem State College.

Morrison said the charter, which established an elected governor and legislature, declares a right to representative government more forcefully than other colonial documents, including the Virginia charters or Mayflower Compact. Then, government existed for the benefit of royalty, the aristocracy or the church, he said. [Link]
The Athenæum's willingness to sell the charter has sparked a feud with its crosstown rival, The Peabody Essex Museum. To keep the document in Massachusetts, the Peabody Essex is willing to do whatever it takes—short of ponying up $10 million to buy it.

All is not lost. At least one New England patriot is willing to take up arms against the Athenæum's board of red-coated trustees.
Former state Sen. Bill Saltonstall says he is "violently opposed" to any plan to sell the Massachusetts Bay Charter.

Salem Mayor Leverett Saltonstall left the historic document with the Salem Athenaeum nearly 200 years ago. But his descendant disputes the fact that his family "donated" it.

"We just put it there," said Bill Saltonstall, who questions the ownership and does not rule out legal action as a way to prevent any sale. [Link]

A Family History Fumbled

Here's a good illustration of how a family story can morph into a fairy tale. It's been established that NFL kicker Adam Vinatieri is a descendant of General George Custer's bandmaster, Felix Vinatieri, and a fourth cousin of professional daredevil Evel Knievel.

Here's how an AP story—appearing in about a bazillion papers—lays out his family tree:

A descendant of Gen. George Custer and a third cousin of Evel Knievel, Vinatieri once caught Herschel Walker from behind and tackled him. He hasn't had to hear about being "just a kicker" since then. [Link]
In future articles, expect Vinatieri to be described as the half-brother of Herschel Walker.