10. Average age of members decreases when Abe Vigoda joins.
9. Speaker fees paid with change found under sofa cushions.
8. Motion to replace microfiche readers with Dance Dance Revolution machines passes without objection.
7. Half the books in research library written by Danielle Steel, the rest by Tom Clancy.
6. Board of Directors outsources task of ignoring member complaints to Bangladesh.
5. Fundraising campaign cut short when it's learned cockfighting is illegal.
4. Newsletter published whenever editor earns "computer time" at rehab.
3. President's effort to recruit members online leads to embarrassing episode of To Catch a Predator.
2. Meetings last only as long as the tequila.
1. The other member quits.
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