Thursday, May 28, 2009

Top Ten Worst Lines From Obituaries

10. "Harold died after a long, hard-fought battle with self-loathing."

9. "Barbara Harris went to meet her Lord and Savior this morning, assuming that her last-minute prayers worked."

8. "Our mother was born in Georgia, which Wikipedia tells us is either in Asia or near Florida."

7. "He was a confirmed bachelor, but totally not gay."

6. "She is survived by her husband Richard, who is now looking for companionship and casual sex. Please, no fatties."

5. "Daniel Connors, 23, died unexpectedly at his home on Thursday afternoon. (Surprisingly, it wasn't suicide.)"

4. "Funeral services will be held Saturday morning at 10:30, at which time the homes of the people listed above will be unoccupied and vulnerable to burglary."

3. "Frank enjoyed spending time with his grandchildren and great-grandchildren, but couldn't stand his great-great-grandchildren."

2. "In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the obituaries editor of this newspaper. In cash."

1. "She was a loving mother, a devoted wife, and an unrepentant murderer."



Being a Bachelor, though not confirmed (I still have hopes!), I like #7. ;-D

I love #1 because I'm wondering if it could apply to my 5 time married Great-Granny, who outlived all her husbands. ;-D

Only 1 appears lucky enough to have arrainged a divorce, and moved on to a much happier marriage. ;-D

Kiril The Mad Macedonian


LMAO!!! I needed this! Phew. I love #6.

Bill West

LOL! Thanks again, Chris!

Diana Ritchie

I think #1 sounds like the perfect opening sentence for a book! Great list :-)


This was hillarious! Thanks for posting it!

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