A Twisted Twin Tale

Lord David Alton stated last month that a pair of twins separated at birth had met and married. His remarks made international news last week.

"They were never told that they were twins," he said during the Dec. 10 debate on a law covering human fertility and embryology. They had been adopted by separate families and "met later in life and felt an inevitable attraction, and the judge had to deal with the consequences of the marriage that they entered into and all the issues of their separation."

No further details about the couple have emerged, and it is not known when the marriage took place or how long they were together before they discovered the truth. [Link]

Jon Henley is skeptical.

Here's the thing: it all came from a single remark more than a month ago by the vehemently anti-abortion Roman Catholic peer and father of four, Lord Alton, in favour of all children having the right to know the identity of their biological parents.

He had heard about this particular case, he said, from the judge who handled the annulment. Or perhaps (he later admitted) a judge who was "familiar with the case". Britain's top family judge, Sir Mark Potter, has never heard of the story. And, as the excellent Heresy Corner blog notes, the whole thing is statistically improbable, procedurally implausible (for 40 years, adoption practice has been to keep twins together) and based on the equivalent of a friend in the pub saying, "Hey, I heard the most amazing story the other day." [Link]

[Thanks to Nancy for the initial tip!]

You Can Always Find What You're Looking For at Lowe's

Steve Flaig found his birth mother working at the same Lowe's where he works.

Four years ago, when Steve turned 18, he asked DA Blodgett for Children, the agency that arranged his adoption, for his background information.

A couple of months later it came, with his birth mother's name.

He searched the Internet for her address and came up empty.

In October, around his 22nd birthday, he took out the paperwork from DA Blodgett and realized he had been spelling his birth mother's surname wrong as "Talladay."

He typed "Tallady" into a search engine, coming up with an address on West River Drive. That was less than a mile from the Lowe's store, 4297 Plainfield Ave. NE, and just around the corner from where his parents raised him.

He mentioned it to his boss.

She said: "You mean Chris Tallady, who works here?" [Link, via Ancestories]

Politician Flip-Flops on Birth Date

Sen. Robert Byrd—the oldest and longest-serving member of the Senate—celebrated the wrong birthday for decades. He was born Cornelius Calvin Sale, Jr., in Wilkesboro, N. C., but his name was changed when he was adopted by his aunt and uncle.

His natural mother died Nov. 10, 1918, a victim of a national influenza epidemic, [Byrd aide Cindy] Huber said.

“When Sen. Byrd met one of his brothers — I think this was in the 1970s — he told him that his birthday was Nov. 20, not Jan. 15,” Huber said.

Since the Byrds in West Virginia had no children, they adopted the future senator but somehow confusion developed as to his actual birth date, the staff spokesperson said, and wasn’t cleared up until the brother came to see him. [Link]

Genealogy vs. Family History

Schelly Talalay Dardashti blogged recently about a debate sparked by an article in the Lebanon Daily News. James M. Beidler's "philosophical question about whether we should call ourselves genealogists or family historians" elicited responses from adoptees to whom the distinction really does make a difference.

Mary Eleanor Urso of Florham Park, N.J., wrote that her birth record is in Louisiana — “a state that will never open birth records to adoptees.”

“I have been restricted to the genealogy of my adoptive parents,” Urso wrote. “When I get to my generation, I put ‘adopted’ by my name and by the name of my three adopted siblings and my parents’ branch of the family tree stops there. ‘Family history’ and genealogy are not and will never be one and the same. It’s as simple as that.” [Link]

As a genealogist, family historian, former philosophy major, and uncle of seven adopted nieces (three of whose adoptions were finalized on Monday), I suppose I'm qualified to comment on this.

The genealogy of "genealogy" leads to a Greek word that may be translated as "race," "family," or perhaps (depending on context) as something else. If I were translating a passage from Aristotle, the exact meaning would matter. In determining how the word "genealogy" is currently used, and even in prescribing how it should be used, Aristotle's opinion matters far less. The fact that the English word "pencil" shares its root with the Latin word for "little penis" shouldn't keep us from pulling one out at the Family History Center.

Genealogy and family history are commonly distinguished in two ways (some have suggested a professional/amateur distinction, which I don't find persuasive):

1. Genealogy is concerned with genetic ancestry, while family history may include non-genetic relationships (adoptive parents, step-parents, etc.)
2. Genealogy is concerned with names, dates, and places, while family history is concerned also with biographical details that "flesh out" the lives of its subjects

I tend to think of genealogy as a field that embraces family history (all family historians are genealogists, but not all genealogists are family historians), since it would be difficult to record a family's history without reference to names, dates, and genetic relationships. Then again, it would be difficult to engage in genealogy without also engaging in family history. The biographical details sought out by the family historian are often the clues necessary to establishing lineage. In practice, the second of these distinctions may be less important than some suppose, and the common conflation of "genealogy" and "family history" may be, in many cases, justified.

It is the first of the distinctions that provoked the most passionate responses to Beidler's article. Though adoptees are most directly affected, anyone who discovers a "non-paternity event" in his family's past faces the decision whether to follow the genes or to follow the surnames—or to follow both. The answer depends not on disputed definitions but on one's answer to a second, larger question: What's the point of genealogy and family history research?

I won't attempt to answer that question, but I will say this: The choices and experiences of one's ancestors can have a great influence on one's life. This is true whether one is genetically indebted to these ancestors or not. I was dismayed to read this comment from an adoptee:

"I am not interested in researching a family to whom I am not related by blood — it’s not my ancestry. I find it interesting hearing stories of my adoptive parents’ relatives and ancestors, but it’s really the same as listening to my neighbors or co-workers talk about their families’ past."

I will spend the rest of my days making sure my nieces never share that sentiment.

Left in the Loo

Mark Gilliam, 41, is searching for his birth parents with the slimmest of clues.

The only clues are his birth certificate, which states under place of birth 'Found on The Pavement, Clapham', and fading newspaper cuttings that report he was abandoned in a public toilet.

Attempts to trace Elizabeth Coulbeck, the lavatory attendant who found him, have so far failed. When she discovered Mark he was well-fed and dressed in white bootees and a romper suit embroidered in orange, green and white. 'We're not sure if there is an Irish link,' Mark said. He was found the day after St Patrick's Day, so he is called Mark Patricks on his birth certificate. [Link]

Her Nice Neighbor Was a Niece

Madam Zhang Qunyou, 68, was given up for adoption three days after her birth in Malaysia. She tried for twenty years to find her birth family, without success. She moved to Singapore last year to live with her daughter, and in June met a neighbor who lived one floor below—Madam Hon Sek Yin.

She began relating her life story to Madam Hon, 48.

As Madam Hon listened, she felt a keen sense of deja vu.

The vegetable wholesaler said: 'I had heard that story before - but it was from my maternal grandmother.'

Madam Zhang also reminded Madam Hon strongly of her grandmother and her mother.

Said Madam Hon, who has a pair of 26-year-old twin daughters: 'I could not help wondering if Madam Zhang was my mother's long-lost sister.' [Link]

Madam Zhang was indeed the woman's aunt. A few days later, she was introduced to her 90-year-old birth mother.

Adopted Aunt Finds Nephews Nearby

Maine State Senator Paula Benoit, herself an adoptee, co-sponsored a bill that would allow adopted children access to their original birth certificates. Not long after the bill was signed into law in June, she learned that her birth parents were Lillian Turner Bryant and Derriel Bryant.

She sent an e-mail to Sen. Bruce Bryant, D-Dixfield, and asked if he recognized the names of her parents.

She had spoken with Bryant before and had even joked with him about the possibility that they were related, since Benoit had always known that her birth name was Laurel Bryant.

"But even as I was e-mailing Sen. Bryant, I didn't put two and two together," Benoit said. "It was almost too far-fetched to even think about."

Bryant e-mailed her back saying that Lillian and Derriel Bryant were his grandparents. [Link]

Benoit has a second biological nephew serving in the Legislature as well: Rep. Mark Bryant, D-Windham, the brother of Bruce Bryant.

It's Never Too Late to Adopt

61-year-old Bob Wilkey became a first-time father on Thursday when he adopted his 41-year-old coworker Darlyn Beam.

Bob is a widower. He has brothers, sisters, nieces and nephews, but never any children of his own.

Darlyn has plenty of children, ranging in age from 16 to 24. But she and her biological father have never been very close.

“It’s just that simple. I need a daughter and she needs a daddy,” Bob said. [Link]

There Was Jell-O in Her Genes

Elizabeth McNabb was 19 in 1974 when she began her search for her birth mother. Fourteen years and a court order later, she was given access to her original birth certificate in Salem, Ore. She soon after made contact with her birth mother, Barbara (Woodward) Piel, and learned that she was the product of an illicit affair.

McNabb's great-grandfather, she also learned, was Orator Francis Woodward, a Leroy, N.Y., entrepreneur who purchased a business making a flavored gelatin known as "Jell-O" from his neighbor for $450 in 1899.

Barbara Piel died in 2003, but it took until last week for McNabb to be granted her share of the multimillion-dollar Jell-O fortune.

On Friday, a unanimous New York Appellate Division, 4th Department, panel ruled that McNabb legally constitutes a "descendant" and "living child" of her mother, Barbara W. Piel, under trusts established by Piel's mother in 1926 and 1963.

McNabb -- an office manager who has with her husband cared for more than 160 emergency-care foster children -- now stands to split those two trusts with her two half-sisters. Her one-third share totals approximately $3.5 million. [Link]

She's Her Son's Sister

When Paul and Leanne needed a surrogate mother, Leanne's own mother, Antoinette, stepped in to help. The baby that resulted—a boy named Kye—is legally his mother's brother.

Victorian law demands the birth mother and her partner are registered as parents.

Antoinette's husband, David – Leanne's father – is registered as Kye's father and Leanne is legally considered Kye's sister. His biological father, Paul, does not rate a mention.

Leanne and Paul would need to adopt their own son to have his birth certificate amended – but even this is not allowed under Victorian law. [Link]

Does He Know He's Adopted?

People ask the strangest questions in the Genealogy category at Yahoo! Answers.

Her Father, the Hero

Kimberly Powell spotted this fascinating story of a Minnesota woman whose search for her birth parents led to United Airlines Flight 93. Mariah Mills found out in 2004 that Tom Burnett was her biological father. Her adoptive mother was the first to read the birth certificate.

Cathy didn't know what to do with the information she held in her hand. She called her husband at work and told him the name. He recognized it right away. And they both remembered what Mariah had said on 9/11: "I think one of my parents is dead."

Of course, they had reassured her then that the chances were "one in millions." Most of those killed lived on the East and West coasts, they had said.

Walter Mills shakes his head in disbelief as he recollects Mariah's words on 9/11.

"That — what's the word? Premonition? Yes, premonition. That's nothing science could ever explain." [Link]

Didn't We Once Share a Womb?

Douglas and Holly Funk of Chicago adopted a little girl in 2004 who'd been abandoned in Yangzhou, China, and named her Mia.

Carlos and Diana Ramirez of Pembroke Pines, Florida, adopted a little girl in 2005 who'd been abandoned in Yangzhou. And named her Mia.

Last May, Mrs. Ramirez wrote about her daughter's upcoming birthday on a website for parents of kids adopted from the Yangzhou orphanage.

Mrs Funk saw the message and wrote back, 'Diana, I have a Mia as well and she is almost 3.'

The two mothers began e-mailing each other and exchanging photographs of their daughters.

The physical likeness of the two girls was too striking to ignore.

After comparing biographical details, they decided to swab the girls' mouths and send the samples for DNA testing.

The results showed that there was an 85 per cent probability that the girls were half-sisters at the very least.

Greater certainty would only be possible if one of the girls' biological parents could be tested as a comparison. But given their identical birth dates and backgrounds, it is most likely they are twins. [Link]

Couple Asks Court to Make Son Younger

Dan and Sue Hostetler of Ohio adopted a boy from Liberia last year. The official records said he was 14, but the Hostetlers weren't so sure. Doctors subjected their son to a battery of tests, and concluded that he is probably two years younger than the records suggest.

On Aug. 8, the Hostetlers will take the medical evidence to Wayne County Probate Court and legally change Momodu's birth year from 1991 to 1993.

"Momodu will be upset if we change his birth date," Sue Hostetler said with a chuckle. "Now he'll be years away from driving." [Link]

Columbus a Papal Bastard?

Some historians in Italy are claiming that Christopher Columbus came not from Genoa, but from a small village near Turin. They'll be holding a conference this weekend to present proof that he was a native of Cuccaro Monferrato. The explorer's descendants are invited to attend—not a few of whom will be eager to learn whether they also have a Pope in their family tree.

An Italian historian, Renato Biagioli, has gone further in claiming he was the illegitimate son of a Roman noblewoman and a pope, who sired him as a teenager before he entered the Church. According to Biagioli, Anna Colonna of the famous Roman family had intercourse with the 14-year-old Giovanbattista Cybo, later Pope Innocent VIII, in the Neapolitan castle known as the Maschio Angioino in 1446.

The resulting child was later adopted by Domenico Colombo in Genoa, Biagioli claims. [Link]

[tagged: genealogy, family tree, ancestry]

Dad, I Hardly Knew Ye

From The Cincinnati (Ohio) Enquirer of Nov. 27, 2005:

Woman finds past a secret
Her father wasn't who he said he was

By Eileen Kelley and Kimball Perry
Enquirer staff writers

CLIFTON - Regina Heidelburg tried Friday to write her father's obituary.

She realized she didn't know where to begin.

A man who zealously guarded his privacy, Robert Cuthbertson left his daughter searching for answers after she found him dead Thanksgiving Day.

"I don't even know where he was born," said Heidelburg.

[snip]

Heidelburg then called "my auntie," Josephine Johnson.

[snip]

After Johnson saw Cuthbertson's body, she told Heidelburg she had something to tell her.

"She then told me, 'I'm not your aunt. We are actually no relation to you and I cannot afford too much to come out of (my) pockets (for a funeral).' She basically told me he was adopted into the family," Heidelburg said.

[snip]

[Read the whole story]

Salvation and Exaltation After Death? Not Good Enough

From The Boston (Mass.) Globe:

State Supreme Court says adoptee has no right to know parents

September 22, 2005

PROVIDENCE, R.I. --The Rhode Island Supreme Court has rejected a Pennsylvania man's claim that his belief in Mormonism entitles him to have his adoption records opened.

Philip Sabatino, 34, of Erie, Pa., claimed in court records that according to his faith he "may be saved and exalted after death" if he meets certain requirements, including tracing his ancestry and fulfilling certain obligations to his blood relatives.

But the justices said confidentiality is important to the adoption process and the man did not show a need to know his parents' names.

The official court opinion did not say whether religious belief could be used as a justification in other cases. But the justices said in a footnote that they thought they could not open records for Mormons without doing it for others as well.

[snip]

[Read the whole story]

God forbid that those damn Lutherans start asking questions. . .

The Responsible Irresponsible Thing to Do

From The (Santa Fe) New Mexican:

Possible dads can register to protect parental rights

Associated Press
June 30, 2005

ALBUQUERQUE (AP) - Legal experts say a single phone call can help secure a man's rights as a possible father.

After a night of passion, men can call the state Bureau of Vital Records and Health Statistics and register with the Putative Father Registry.

The law requires that the registry be checked before any adoption is final, and if a man doesn't notify the office within 10 days of his baby's birth, he could find himself legally cut off from the child.

The registry, created in 1996, aims to guarantee parental rights for fathers who want to assume responsibility and to speed up the adoption process for those who don't.

Attorney Harold Atencio acknowledges the "Catch-22" of the registry, saying irresponsible men won't sign up and responsible men won't need to. But the registry is important for those responsible men who allow a "moment of passion to get away from them," he said.

[snip]

While some say revealing the names of intimates is an invasion of privacy and a violation of constitutional law, state officials say the registry is completely confidential. Attorneys and adoption agencies are allowed to submit the name of a potential birth father so employees can look for a match, but no one is allowed access to the entire list.

[snip]

Billye Coey, president of Adoption Assistance Agency, said the registry is important because it demands that men shoulder some of the burden of unwanted pregnancy.

"It's not right to spread you sperm and leave women to deal with pregnancy," Coey said. "It doesn't take into account that a child might be conceived and need a life."

[Read the whole story]

You just know that in fifty years Ancestry.com will put this registry online: "Who Was Your Grandmother's Secret Lover? Find Your Putative Ancestors Today!"

Leave Genealogy Out of It

A recent court case in New Jersey concerning same-sex marriage may not at first blush seem relevant to genealogy, but one citation should draw genealogists into the discussion.

In his concurring opinion, Judge Anthony J. Parillo cites Daniel Cere, the Director of the Institute for the Study of Marriage, Law, and Culture at McGill University, who argues for "the rich genealogical nature of heterosexual family ties." Setting aside the more contentious issues, is the implication of this phrase true? Do the children of heterosexual couples have a genealogical advantage?

One can certainly argue that same-sex marriage makes genealogy more complicated. Numbering systems and GEDCOM formats presuppose heterosexual marriages—try to enter a same-sex marriage into your favorite genealogy database program, and you'll likely earn a stern rebuke from the software. Of course, there have been other biases in these programs that have required modifications or work-arounds in the past, including biases toward the Western ordering of names (not all cultures place the surname last) and patrilineal descent.

Genealogy is, technically, the study of one's genetic descent—tracing one's genes from their sources. The child of a same-sex couple cannot trace her genetic descent through both parents. The same can be said of adopted children, step-children, and children conceived through donor-contributed sperm or eggs. All of these children are at a genealogical disadvantage, but only if we consider it advantageous to have regular contact with the people who share genes with us (an odd notion, I think).

In the real world, people are just as interested in their family history as in their genetic history. This is especially true when speaking of the recent generations of one's family. If I were adopted, I might want to trace the roots only of my adoptive parents. But if my great-grandfather's great-grandfather were adopted, I might want to trace only his birth family.

If we consider genealogy in the loose sense of "family history," a child need not be penalized for illegitimacy, adoption, or the sexes of her parents. As to the question whether "heterosexual family ties" possess a richer "genealogical nature" than those of same-sex couples, we must ask why having two patrilineal or two matrilineal lines is any less interesting than having one of each.

Whatever we think of their parents, every child has a family worth investigating.