It's a Parody, Your Honor

Having learned that The Generations Network is suing Millennia for trademark infringement, I've decided to scrap my plans to rebrand my blog. You just can't be too careful in this litigious society.

I Still See a Duck

The Generations Network's logo may not be a nervous green duck after all. So says the trademark application:

Description of Mark: The mark consists of a stylized lowercase letter "g", with the upper circular section of the "g" in a shape similar to one-half of a pair of reading glasses, and the lower circular part of the "g" in the shape of a leaf, adjacent to the words "THE generations network" in stylized fonts.

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Genealogy With Puppets and Yo-Yos

A guy in New Jersey has filed a trademark application for the phrase "JEANIE O'LOGY & ANNE CESTRY FAMILY ADVENTURE." These are the genealogical accessories he'll be selling:

TOYS, GAMES AND PLAYTHINGS, NAMELY, DOLLS, DOLL ACCESSORIES, PUPPETS, DOLL CLOTHING AND DOLL SETS; PLUSH TOYS, STUFFED TOYS, SQUEEZE TOYS; SOFT SCULPTURE TOYS, TOY FIGURES, TOY BANKS; TOY WATCHES, PLASTIC CHARACTER TOYS, PULL TOYS, BATH TOYS, INFANT TOYS, CRIB TOYS; MUSIC BOX TOYS, MUSICAL TOYS, PARTY FAVORS IN THE NATURE OF SMALL TOYS, COLLECTABLE TOY FIGURES, POP UP TOYS, TOY DISH SETS, TALKING TOYS; CHILDREN'S MULTIPLE ACTIVITY TOYS, INFLATABLE TOYS, BATTERY-POWERED COMPUTER GAME WITH LCD SCREEN WHICH FEATURES ANIMATION AND SOUND EFFECTS, TOY COMBS AND BRUSHES AND SANDBOX TOYS; YO-YOS; PLAY MATS CONTAINING INFANT TOYS, JUNGLE GYMS, TOY MOBILES, CRIB MOBILES, MOBILES FOR CHILDREN, BABY RATTLES, CARD GAMES, ARCADE GAMES; CHILDREN'S GAMES, NAMELY BOARD GAMES; CHILDREN'S PARTY GAMES AND PUZZLES, ACTION SKILL GAMES; BADMINTON SETS; BALLOONS; BEACH BALLS; BEAN BAGS; BUBBLE MAKING WANDS AND SOLUTION SETS; CHILDREN'S PLAY COSMETICS; CHRISTMAS STOCKINGS; CHRISTMAS TREE DECORATIONS; HAND HELD UNIT FOR PLAYING ELECTRONIC GAMES; JUMP ROPES; KITES; MAGIC TRICKS; CHILDREN'S MULTIPLE ACTIVITY TABLES; ELECTRONIC EDUCATIONAL GAME MACHINES FOR CHILDREN

Mark a Name for Yourself

Sometimes a surname is more than a surname. Sometimes it's a trademark.

It's become de rigueur in recent years for celebrities to protect their "brands" by registering their names with the Trademark Office. Type the name of a certain musical performer into the trademark search engine, and you'll find out why there's only one "Neil Diamond" selling records to swooning retirees.

The case of Donald and Ivana Trump is a bit more tricky. He's opposing his ex-wife's bid to trademark the term "Ivana Trump" for use in her own real-estate business, arguing that the public will be confused. But it's not really that confusing: Donald is that guy with the popular reality show who reminds you of your imperious, toady-loving boss; and Ivana is that woman with the unpopular reality show who reminds you of Zsa Zsa Gabor.

To end on a more genealogical note, the search engine will also tell you who's been using your surname for business purposes, and what business enterprises you can safely slap your name on. Good news: I'm prevented from starting a Dunham shoe company, but there's no legal reason why I can't become a popular recording artist.